Grain of Salt

This is Getting Out of Hand

 I'll admit it - I like a juicy rumor as much as the next gal. And I'll also admit that it's because my life is pretty low-key.  I try not to screw up all the great things I have: anonymity, a great husband who loves me, a cute little house, and a job where the public doesn't get to criticize my work on a daily basis. Yay for me!

However, as much as I delight in others' lunacy and stupidity, I have to ask a few questions about this whole A-Rod/Madonna/Skanky Wife/Lenny Kravitz thing (reported by a number of sources, all of them shaky and unreliable at best).

First of all, Madonna? Really, A-Rod? I'm a big Madonna fan, but she's been looking busted the last few years. Also, she's a little nuts. You know it. I know it. Maybe the nuttiness is what brought them together.

Second, do these people actually think having money makes it acceptable to treat children as accessories? This is not a rhetorical question. I'm really asking. I can't even begin to fathom thinking this way. We need an Ivy League social scientist to study this kind of aberrant behavior, with the goal of finding a cure.

Look, I don't care if you run around all of Europe and North America screwing everything that moves: I understand that people raised in the spotlight, or those with athletic abilities, or those with a boatload of money to throw around don't have the same traits that we normal people find important, like, say, integrity. But we can all get together on the notion that you shouldn't leave your toddler children in someone else's care while you act like you're on Spring Break again at the ages of 32 & 34. Right?

I've tried to like A-Rod. I really have. He seems to be tragically insecure for someone who has so much going for him. And it's gotta be tough sitting in the shadow of Derek Jeter's perfectly kept, down-to-earth, Golden Boy reputation. (Please don't think I'm naive about Jeter; I'm sure he does his share of freaktastic stuff. I'm only saying that he's remained single, tried to keep all the salaciousness out of the public eye, and isn't - I hope - screwing up the lives of any sons and daughters).

But if I see one more picture of someone like A-Rod or Kobe kissing and hugging their (usually female) children in an attempt to convince us that they care, I'm going to lose my shit. The dads who really love their children keep them as far away from the circus as possible. (Post Cover via NYPost.com)

Alas, All Good Things Must Come to an End

Today is the last day of the Will Leitch era over at Deadspin.com. (Just as a warning, my mom, mother-in-law, aunts, or anyone else who might think worse of me after clicking that link should not read too many of the entries and definitely shouldn't venture into the Comments section.)  For two years this little website has been my first stop when I need to take a break from cranking speeches and other assorted deliverables (and if you think about the kind of people who call things "deliverables" then you'll understand why I needed breaks from time to time.)

It is very often difficult to find boys who write about sports in a funny way, in a fan-oriented way, and in a way that doesn't sound like a chest-beating 400-pound gorilla wrote it.  As editor of Deadspin, Will, along with his team, provided this. I didn't even know how much I had grown to like young William until I saw the Costas-Bissinger debacle. I was so outraged at the way they ganged up on him and conversely impressed with the way he handled it.

I like that the writing on Deadspin is (most of the time) not blockhead frat-boy crap or stat-obsessed know-it-all.  Basically, it's what you would get if any of my guy friends in college had been remotely interested in talking or writing about sports: intelligent sometimes, goofy sometimes, making fun of stupid people always. So, yeah, I'm sad that someone I don't even know is leaving a website that I never had even remote contact with. That's the beauty of online media, people.

(By the way, that is my favorite picture of Will because, as others have mentioned over at Deadspin, he looks so emo, like the goth kid who kept flipping his hair out of his eyes on the Dance Dance Revolution episode of South Park.)

Happy Celtics Are Champions Again Day!!

I was 12 years old when the Celtics last won a title in 1986.  That was pretty much the only good thing that happened that year.

I moved to Boston and worked at the "Fleetcenter" during some of the leanest years for the team. It made me sad to see the franchise mismanaged and embarrassed like that.

I hated how Paul Pierce was treated by the media, as if he were a lesser version of Scotty Pippen waiting for his Michael Jordan to come along.

In this series, he was The Man. I truly admire players who push on through adversity and ignore putdowns. Even without Ray Allen and KG in Boston, Pierce always played like he was a member of a storied franchise. He respected the history and the idea that his chance would come eventually. And when the chance did come, he didn't sit back and leave it to the new additions - he took charge.

If you watched the game, you know what a blowout it was but how fun it was to watch anyway. James Posey getting chippy after every play. Ray Allen sticking threes after Lamar Odom tried to claw his eye out. Big Baby in the game!! (In case you don't know, that's him on the extreme left of the pic above.)

The great thing about this team is how likable all the members are.  Leon Powe, KG, Ray Allen, Baby, PJ Brown, and Pierce all seem like genuinely good guys. KG gave Minnesota 12 years, and then he was shamefully disrespected by management.  Leon Powe had an incredibly difficult childhood, but was lucky enough to find a mentor to help him through. Paul Pierce was stabbed multiple times and underwent surgery for a collapsed lung, but he didn't let that stop him from playing a full season in 2000.

Yes, Pierce pouted a little in the years where he was stuck playing with spare parts, but that's to be expected from someone who wants to win. Yes, we got annoyed at Doc Rivers' seemingly laid back, good-guy attitude when they were losing, but in many ways, he's a great coach for a team with three veterans who all know how to lead.

And so, he gets the Gatorade shower usually reserved for football coaches.

This was just one of the great moments after the game.

My other favorite things, in no particular order:

1. Kevin Garnett losing his freakin' mind. His reaction was even better than I expected. I loved every minute of it...including the suave way he told Michelle Tafoya she was "looking fine tonight."

2. Garnett's postgame-interview bully analogy. When asked how it felt to finally win a title and eliminate that knock against his career, he responded that it was like back in school, when a bully torments you every day and one day you just say, "That's it. I'm not taking this anymore."  Then you beat the bully's ass, and the next day he leaves you alone. He actually said, "I beat down the bully's ass!"

3. Ray Allen holding his kids, looking exhausted but happy, after having spent the previous night in the hospital with one of his sons.

4. Kendrick Perkins and Leon Powe also holding their completely adorable kids.

5. Garnett leaning in to talk to Bill Russell and saying, "I just hope we made you proud." I gotta admit, I got a little misty.

6. Paul Pierce standing on the podium with his MVP trophy and telling the crowd that he told them he'd bring a championship back to Boston. Mission accomplished - for real.  (Pics from AP & Reuters via Yahoo Sports)

Whew, After 34 Years I Can Finally Come Out From Under That Rock!

Thanks, five 20-something girls at Tufts!

A story at Newsweek.com today is called "Revenge of the Nerdette."  The gist (and the writers seem surprisingly unembarrassed by this) is that smart girls - girls in the sciences even! - are also able to make themselves look pretty for the men-folk. (Found this link through Jezebel).

Now there's nothing wrong with wanting to look good on a daily basis. I was somewhat concerned with that myself in the days of my youth. But this article acts like it was Generation Text Message's idea to flaunt their intelligence and their femininity at the same time.  Witness this cringe-inducing paragraph: 

"The crew includes Cristina Sanchez, a master's student in biomedical engineering (and a former cheerleader) who can talk for hours about aerodynamics. Caitrin Eaton, a freshman, asked her boyfriend for a soldering iron last Christmas. Juniors Courtney Mario and Perry Ross giggle when they talk about what fascinated them most about "No Country for Old Men": how did the assassin's air gun work?"

For the love of Joba, it's like women of the past four or five decades were forced to choose between the No. 2 pencil and the eyeliner pencil (I'm sorry, you can't have both).  Obviously, none of us smart girls from the 90s ever had guys lusting after us. No, sir.

Raise your hand if you know five or more women who were very attractive in their 20s and also intelligent...was that really so hard? Or is the person who suggested this story (and the freakin' reality show, for that matter) dumb enough to think that these girls really are scarce? That this is some kind of revelation or new tactic?

Of course, many of those women you know might not even count as girls who have blazed this difficult trail. That's because the article makes allusions to art, music, writing, and education as "women's pursuits," things these tech-savvy women were forced to do to look feminine. Look, many of us actually followed our aptitude, whatever it was, and became successful because of it. I get that the article is focused on engineering specifically because fewer women actually go into that field. But, do we really think it's harder for women who work in a lab or tech company to own their intelligence and femininity than women who work in an office, a newsroom, or a school?  I got news - the old-boy network is everywhere.

The truth is that articles like this actually increase the male focus on looks by saying, "Hey, we know you didn't like those butch women and shrinking violets that used to be 'the smart girls'.  So we put some sassy, good-looking girls who like science on TV for you to ogle. They're building a solar car, but you won't care about that when you see their short shorts and heels!"  Whoo! Breakthrough!!

It's All About the Green

That. Was. Awesome. Seriously. Wow.

Part of the awesomeness was watching the proverbial steam coming out of Kobe's ears.

But mostly, it was awesome because Paul Pierce and Ray Allen just decided to be leaders. It doesn't always have to be KG.

I think I might have mentioned before how superstitious we are here in the Grain of Salt Mafia.  Well, at the end of the first half, Tim remembered that our relationship mascot and terrycloth frog pet Flags was still in the bedroom. Throughout the playoffs we had been taking him out of the bedroom and propping him up on the couch so he could watch the games. (I know what you're thinking, and I don't care.)

As soon as Flags took up residence on the couch last night, the Celtics started to chip away. Did I mention that Flags is a particularly pleasing shade of green? And that he's always smiling? Of course, all that cute, stuffed-animal positivity inspired one of the greatest comebacks in NBA Finals history. I believe Flags will be camping out in the living room until this series is over. 

Mevin Nowhere in Sight

So Kevin Garnett was not Uncle Fluffy last night, and I appreciated that. I've also altered my expectations for "the guy who will win my undying love for doing something nasty to Kobe."  That guy is James Posey. I don't mind telling you that I always liked The Posey, even when he was at Xavier. What I like most is that he's chippy. He goes all out. Like this guy:

How great was that when he came hopping out of the tunnel? That was an instant classic Celtics moment.  Much is made of KG's lack of a ring, but damn, man, Paul Pierce has suffered through some of the most pathetic years this franchise has ever had. I think he's actually one of the better sports figures in Boston, not that anyone noticed until this year. I just hope he gets his due. Join me in showing The Truth some love!

I Just Don't Even Know What To Say...

Chris Herren faces new heroin charge

Gratuitous Basketball Love and Hatred

I'm just curious, who is going to show up tonight? Badass, chest-pounding, blocking machine Kevin Garnett or his mopey, fade-away-jumper-taking, evil twin, who Tim has taken to calling "Mevin"? All Kevin has to do to earn my undying love is elbow Kobe in the face or maybe closeline him Rambis-style. That's right - my semantic take on this series is that I don't care about the other Lakers; I just want Kobe specifically to lose and be humiliated. Someday I will take the time to make my definitive list of the most despicable people in public life, and Kobe will certainly hold down a prime spot.

Can Charles Barkley Start Announcing Baseball Games? Please?

I love my subscription to MLB Extra Innings. It ensures that I can follow my boys wherever they are playing (as long as it isn't Shea, apparently).  But here's what stinks about it: having to listen to the other team's color people talk about what Joe Girardi and the Yankees should be doing.

At first I was only mildly amused by the blatant homerism of the Chicago White Sox announcers. I mean, I live in New England, where Jerry Remy works.

Then it kicked up a notch when the Kansas City Royals announcers moaned for an inning that the Royals are never on FOX or ESPN like the Yankees and Sox and Cubs.  Ummm...move the team to a bigger market or start winning. Your choice.

But this week, Gary Thorne and Jim Palmer were nearly unwatchable as the Yankees played the Orioles.  Now, I'm not going to pull any punches here: Joe Morgan is hands-down the worst baseball announcer, with a senile Tim McCarver right on his heels. But I'm betting that people don't know how annoying it is to listen to Palmer's commentary which amounted to something like this: I used to be a pitcher. I was a pretty good one if I do say so myself. I am therefore an authority on all pitchers and what they should throw and when they should throw and when they should tie their shoes....

Look, I understand it's nice to have a guy with as much experience as Palmer giving you insight. But "that's the way I would do it" isn't always insightful. Nor does it take into account the way the game has changed or the fact that different teams do things different ways because different teams have different pressures on them.

I give Gary Thorne a little bit of a pass because I really will always think of him as a hockey guy. But, man, I didn't realize that over the past few years he's been working as a closet GM.  That is the only way he could possibly back up his derisive tone when talking about the way in which the Yankees have handled their pitchers this season. They kept harping on this like they'd been in meetings with Brian Cashman and Baby Stein all afternoon. For three straight games.

Maybe I watch too much baseball.  Maybe I think you should come up with other, more exciting things to talk about rather than your fantasy-team type analysis. And maybe Jim Palmer shouldn't have sounded so begrudging when he said at the end of the eighth inning last night, after Joba Chamberlain had just made two Orioles hitters look like idiots, "Well, he does have good stuff."  You could almost hear the exaggerated, "I guess..." hanging in the air.

I'll tell you, some people may not like Charles Barkley, but I think he'd do a bang-up job of cutting through the bullshit of baseball announcing. Or, maybe I just want to hear him tell these guys that they need to maybe be quiet for a little while, just sit a couple of innings out. (Photo via NBA.com)

Pretty Flowers to Distract Me

For your viewing pleasure, the trees and flowers in my yard:

More after jump....